Dear Maya, another lover has broken your heart. You’ve been left in the dust again, back to the helpless belonging of broken things. You are again at the mercy of strangers and friends. The family was always non-existent so, their absence in an hour of need is not a new loss to mourn.
~Finding love will never remedy your brokenness. It will not heal your past or give closure to your angry heart. ‘Loving’ will never be enough, unless you accept yourself completely- and perhaps love yourself too. There will never be an equal-ideal world where people are all free of fates and choices. Everyone will have to fight here for themselves if they are to survive. Love will not exclude these battles of class, caste, mind, or heart. You will have to resolve your chaos- gender or genes can’t be blamed too long. Handicapped dreams will have to re-invent themselves and props of belonging and sharing must be built for the homelessness you feel in this dysphoric society. Your madness will have to have an aim, a name.
And ‘love’ will not remove any complaint or causticity you bear towards this world. But perhaps it will tell you, there is no need to carry the baggage alone.
~Remember to build a home in yourself. A peaceful place where you come to sleep. A church where you hear the sanctified verses of your own human heart. Because, Maya, this world is less a manifestation of God than it is a creation of Human Will. Prayers are evocations to our own powers, Deeds the fruit of effort and will. Our stories are histories and philosophy the musing of minds. Spirituality is the fulfillment of the divinity we own and Love is ceaseless compassion borne of the Soul.
Dear Maya, before you love again, love yourself a bit more. A tear of Self-compassion is enough to wash away the deluge of guilt and doubt. A bond of trust with yourself is more efficient than a hundred appraisals. The love you bleed to the world deserves your own relish as anyone else does.
Before you love again, love yourself 1% more.